Survivor Perspectives: Interview with Lali

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING SINCE THE DEATH OF GEORGE FLOYD?

I grew up in Wilmington. I grew up around a lot of Black folks. My best friend is Black. From the beginning, I could tell that they were treated differently...Now that I’m older, I have more of an understanding of racism. My daughter is half Black. When I was dating her father, we were in a car and got stopped by a cop, and he didn’t even speak to my boyfriend, he just came around to my side and asked if I was OK, did I need help. I had to tell the cop that I was OK, that this was my boyfriend.

When will I be able to turn on the TV and not see black people getting shot by the cops?  My boyfriend told me after the Sandra Bland murder, that when he was 12 years old, his mother sat him down and told him that he was going to be shot by the cops, that he would need to shut up and do whatever the cops said. My boyfriend said that, one day, we were going to have the same conversation with our daughter because she doesn’t look Mexican, she is dark-skinned. That night, I broke down and cried because I realized that she is both dark-skinned and a woman. I am Hispanic, but I am light-skinned, so I don’t have to deal with a lot of this. My ancestors were not enslaved for 400 years and I don’t have to deal with the type of racism that others face. 

HAVE YOU HAD INTERACTIONS WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT?

Yes, I’ve had a lot of interactions with law enforcement. I’m glad you brought the question up. It reminds me a lot of when I got arrested. The cops came into our home without a search warrant, and they arrested me and my sister. They did not read us our rights, they arrested us and took us to juvenile detention court. I know that if we were White, this would not have happened.  We were poor Brown kids in a shitty neighborhood. I think my sister was 10, and I was 12 at the time.

Somebody called that we had run away, I was dealing with truancy court issues...I wasn’t missing school because I wanted to. I was severely depressed, my dad was abusive. When we had truancy court, it’s easier for them to lock you up than to give you the help that you need. If they had provided me with a mental health specialist, some type of therapy, I could have avoided going back to court for a couple of years...They did provide me with a social worker, but she was too overworked  The social worker didn’t notice that I was wearing long-sleeved shirts and sweatshirts in 90-degree weather, but I was self-harming, cutting.  

I don’t ever remember thanking a police officer for helping me. I remember an issue with an ex of mine, a domestic issue. We got into an altercation and he hit me. I called the police for help and they never came. He hit me in the face and ruptured my lip. I called 911 and ran out of the house and waited for half an hour in the park. They never came. I didn’t live in the nicest area, but I know that if I had lived in a suburban area, they would have been there in 10 minutes. A lot of Black and Brown people live in that area. Any time we dealt with a cop, there was always a sour taste in our mouth afterward.

WHAT WOULD YOU WANT LAW ENFORCEMENT TO KNOW ABOUT VICTIMS OF SEX TRAFFICKING?

I met someone after through a support group online for survivors, and she was telling me that she went missing for a month. She was kidnapped by this guy. When her parents reached out to the police, she had a record of soliciting. They didn’t pay it any mind; they said that she was a runaway and didn’t want to stay in one place. Her parents said, “No, that’s not like her.” I guess when they see someone in the sex industry, they lose interest...It’s disheartening. When you are a survivor, you have to deal with things; you have to deal with PTSD. It takes so much to get your life back on track, and it’s hard. 

For me, personally, I don’t like calling the cops for anything. Because I have a history of things that happened to me when I was younger, I feel that I can handle it on my own...I don’t believe that there are any good cops. The cops that were there when George Floyd was murdered, they were just looking. They didn’t try to stop it and say, “let’s just cuff him.” They watched that man die and did not do anything to help.

HOW HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED THE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN RACE AND SEX TRAFFICKING?

A lot of survivors I know are Brown and Black. They are from lower-income households and from poor cities. They are either hooked on drugs and tricked into supporting a habit. When these Black and Brown girls go missing, the response is, “They’ll be OK. They like to party. They’ll be back in a few days.” No one pays attention to them.

I would disappear for weeks at a time, and my mom knew that’s what I did. It starts with partying with friends, developing a life that supports an addiction, and then you’re cross-country and missing. Even today, I have certain triggers and there are things that I can and can’t do. I’ve heard so many stories, not just from girls, from boys also.